Things Aren't Always As They Seem
by Nehszriah
Summary: A challenge fic from Ryokun16. Sanji thinks he's on the perfect date... or is he? Simple silliness.


To: Ryo-kun16

From: Nehszriah

Occasion: Opening Day's a comin'! Let's go Tigers!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece and Ryo was even the one who gave me the idea for this. I just kidnaped it and ran for my dear life.

Just a Note: I never remember if it is the right or the left. Oh well. O.o Read story to the very end for the full effect.

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Things Aren't Always As They Seem

Sanji chopped the carrots finely and wondered if his good fortune was ever going to end.

Well, it was not as if he actually _wanted _to run into a spot of bad luck. It was just that this most current series of events were quite pleasing. He never wanted them to end. In fact, if the ship was to break free of the anchor and sail off, everything would have been splendid.

It all started earlier that morning. Franky had yet to have been in the crew for a month and the _Sunny_-go was already docked in a port. The Log Pose had locked into place rather quickly, instead of the usual few hours it might take for a normal island to flirt with the needle's fickle attention. Sanji had been ordered to watch the ship and everyone else dispersed to wander the bustling port. Considering it was already past midday then, the entire crew would most likely be out and about until the wee hours of the following morning, leaving the blond chef to slink into the kitchen and plan dinner for one.

That was when the Culinary Gods smiled down upon him.

He had been enthralled in the process of figuring out a one-serving eggplant casserole when Nami walked in the door of the galley. She walked across the spacious room and took her seat at the large table.

Sanji had forgotten all about the eggplant and twirled over to the redheaded woman.

"I thought you and Robin-chan were going to keep an eye on the idiots, Nami-san," he purred. Nami simply glanced out of the corner of her eye and smirked vivaciously.

"Robin's got them under control." She shifted in her chair, making it so that her cleavage was slightly more noticeable and her face was smoothly shifted to a pout. "I thought it would be nice if the two of us had the ship to ourselves tonight."

The blond was unsure about what to do, let alone say. He stood next to Nami dumbfounded, the cigarette in his mouth withering away without entering his system and his eyes plastered on the navigator. He had always imagined what would happen in this sort of situation, yet never had he imagined the situation would arise, _ever_.

"Sanji-kun," Nami whined softly. "Don't you think that is a good idea?"

"Na?" Sanji shook himself out of the daydream and back to what was important: Nami. "No, I think it is a marvelous idea! I was just going over some recipes that I wanted to try!"

"Good, then I'll go and get ready," Nami said. She stood up and walked past Sanji, making sure to bush her arm against his. A chill ran up the chef's spine that was dreadful and exhilarating at the same time.

So Sanji began to work his craft with mercury fluency. This was his chance; his one and only chance to truly impress Nami-san without anyone or anything interrupting him. By the time he was done, several plates of delicate, exquisite cuisine lay on the table, a red cloth resting between Sanji's good chinaware and the scratched wooden tabletop. Candles had been strategically placed and wine cautiously selected. Sanji had moved all but two chairs to the end of the galley, keeping the remaining seats next to one another.

"I wonder what is keeping Nami-san?" he wondered aloud, straightening his tie nervously. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearing six-thirty in the evening. The late afternoon sun splashed into the galley, washing everything with a soft amber glaze that warned of the impending sunset. Sanji was not waiting long before Nami showed herself to him again.

Hot dog, did she ever clean up good.

What a dress! Sanji had never seen her in anything like it before! It was cherry red in color, the vibrance matching her personality perfectly. There were no shoulder straps and the material was only able to cover from her chest to mid-thigh without trouble. She wore high heeled shoes of the same color and sported an elegant facade of cosmetics and natural beauty. With every step Nami took towards Sanji, the ero-cook's heart would beat faster and faster.

"Are you ready?" she asked, sitting down at one of the place settings.

"O-Of course," Sanji replied. The sight of Nami had left his so breathless, he could barely utter a peep. In fact, the entire rest of dinner had been silent aside from the clinking of dishes and the soft flicker of candlelight. The sunset came and left the ship in a warm blanket of dusk, the only light available being that of the candles.

Silently finishing her meal, Nami stood up and without a word, placed her hand on Sanji's. A jolt went through the blond as he bolted to his feet. He looked over at the navigator with a hopeful smile and saw her grin in return before she snuffed out the small flames.

"What are you doing, Nami-san?"

"Trust me Sanji-kun. I think we both have been waiting for this."

If Sanji's heart had not been racing before, it was racing then. He felt the gentle pull of the woman's grasp as she led him through the dark. Soon, they found themselves under the night sky, stars illuminating the inky velvet of the heavens. The grassy deck was still warm from long-gone sunlight as the two sat down besides one another.

"This is perfect Sanji-kun," Nami sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. The blond gulped nervously and silently declared himself the luckiest bastard ever to walk the earth.

"I know how to make this night even more perfect," Sanji replied. Nami slanted her head so that she could catch just a glimpse of his face before he closed in for a kiss.

For Sanji, it was magical. There were barely any known words to describe it. He embraced the woman and without realizing it, pushed her down into the soft lawn. The surrounding air began to rise in temperature, sweat forming on both the cook and the navigator. Nami moaned slightly as Sanji kissed her neck. Sanji smiled as Nami ran her fingers through his hair. Everything was perfectly blissful, ecstatic, euphoric...

That is, until Zoro's voice cut through the air.

"What are you doing?" the swordsman asked, shining a flashlight on his crewmate. Sanji froze out of rage.

"Were you spying on us or are you really that stupid?" Sanji hissed. He snapped his head in the direction of the light and saw that Zoro and Nami were standing side by side, both staring at him with shocked expressions on their faces.

Wait a second... Nami could not be standing next to the Marimo-head. She was in his arms, almost ready to make sweet love. What was going on?

"Get up," the Nami with the flashlight hissed. Sanji, wide-eyed, bolted to his feet obediently. The dressed-up Nami slowly stood up as well and pouted innocently at the angry Nami.

"I was only having fun," she said.

"Tying me up and leaving me in an alley is no way considered 'having fun'," Angry Nami growled. "I had to pay the idiot over here in order for him to get me out. Do you know how many drunks were in that alley?!" Sanji looked over at Zoro to find him grinning, attempting to inconspicuously eye the angry woman's... finer areas.

"Fine, I'm sorry," the dressed up Nami sighed. Her face then brightened up in hope. "Can I at least go and find Luffy-kun?"

"No."

"Usopp-kun?"

"You're never going to get anywhere."

"Sunday-chan?"

"Don't press your luck."

"Fine." The dressed up Nami huffed and smacked herself on the left cheek and immediately transformed. Instead of Nami standing there, it was Bon Clay, still in the dress and makeup from before. "At least let me keep the dress."

"I'll send you a bill," the real Nami said icily, glaring at the former Baroque Works agent. She and Zoro watched carefully as Bon Clay stomped over to the dock and out of sight.

"That was creepy," Zoro said. "I'm sort of glad you made me come."

"Why?" Nami asked. She turned around to see that Zoro was shining his flashlight on Sanji, who was hunched over the side of the deck and making unruly noises.

"I don't think the shit-cook's gonna be flirting with you for a long time."

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Yeah... I actually wrote something that resembles a yaoi. Score. Please leave a review! Tell me what you think, bad or good! 


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